I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
