thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize