Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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