When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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