U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize