man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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