you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
