He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
