im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
