I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This baby is an asshole
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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