Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize