Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
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I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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