fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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