I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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