Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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