it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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