I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
