this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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