i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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