I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
