Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
