I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?