We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA