How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!