do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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