I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I supernannyed him into submission
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize