he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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