I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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