Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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