i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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