toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize