arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
