I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize