Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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