She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize