Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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