just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
