Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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