Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
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There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just puked most of my soul out..
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