allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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