I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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