Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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