hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
