I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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