I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize