Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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