I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize