he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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