i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.