Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.