Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
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She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
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Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa