Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
