"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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