i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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